just bcuz

a year makes a difference!

Christmas 2010 now

Christmas 2009 then

holy cow...

my prayers

are being answered left and right. i honestly feel so blessed right now. you have no idea. first i get the job that i really want/need. it's so close to my apt that i could seriously walk there. i actually do run there cause it's in the same mall as my gym. i'm so excited to start tomorrow! i should probably be sleeping already since i have a long day/week ahead of me. but i'm too excited to sleep! another prayer that was answered was that John and i are finally on good terms again. i hope this time it stays permanent and i don't say anything to mess it up :).

Christmas!

was so amazing! i loved absolutely everything about it. it honestly felt like kim was bf cause first we went to my fam party then hers. haha so much fun and food. i don't really much else to say other than i am thankful for another blessed holiday.

Rihanna- California King Bed

Just when I felt like giving up on us
You turned around and gave me one last touch
That made everything feel better
And even then my eyes got wetter
So confused wanna ask you if you love me
But I dont wanna seem so weak
Maybe I've been california dreamin

just bcuz

hahahahahahaha

i can't date

nice guys cause they always end up hating me. haha. it's so true, but i'm kinda ok with it. i don't want to date a sorry ass push over anyway. i need a real man who can put his foot down and put me in my place! i will seriously take advantage of you if you're too nice to me. it's cruel and fucked up, but that's just how i am. i feel kinda bad cause there are a few guys out there that i'd like to date, but i know once i become their gf. i'll change completely, and for the worse. ask john and paul, they will tell you. haha they're both such nice guys and they both hate me. neither of them can even look at me. hahaha i wish i was exaggerating and making this stuff up, but i'm not. i love how both paul and MY OWN mom warned john not to date me, but he did anyway. and look how we ended up. honestly, i can laugh about it now because it's like, it is what it is. i just hope i'll eventually find a guy that can put up with my shit and i'll actually want to put before myself.

one of these days....

honestly, you have no idea

how thrilled i am to start my new job on monday! i just hope it doesn't rain cause i'm seriously so sick of it already! i'm so thankful that God gave me what i wanted. i honestly wouldn't have been able to do this if i had been in a relationship. i also wouldn't have been able to lose 25lbs. ahh life is so good. :) i love how my boss keeps saying "just because you've lost all this weight..." he always starts off his sentences like that now. hahaha. love it!

if he only knewww

tall, dark and handsome. what more could you ask for? lol

:)

feeling so much better.

i just wish this rain would stop already!

i hope tomorrow goes well.

If it's Your will Lord....

i miss the old you

terribly...

and of course i didn't mean it when i told you i didn't love you.

i was going through old pictures and videos of us and we honestly looked so happy. we fooled everyone who didn't know the real us.

in more than half the videos, you're always saying how much you love me...i can't believe i turned my back on love.


i don't know if it's the weather that's making me think and feel this way, but i really miss you.

hahaha

i feel so much better about myself now. :)

it's starting to pay off

so like working out, eating right, and blah blah blah is really showing results. i've lost about 25lbs since the break up and i'm absolutely loving it! the fact that my mom, my family, and the people i work with are starting to notice, it makes me feel really good about myself. not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but i look so much better now. hahaha

BEFORE

AFTER

rain rain go away!

i'm so over you already. you're really starting to remind me how lonely i am. lol and it really sucks. sometimes i come home wishing john was still there because of you! but then i start to remind myself of why we're not together anymore and the feeling goes away. then i start thinking about how being single totally sucks during the holidays. but then i realize, i don't need a man to be happy. haha yeah this post was totally pointless.

make up makes such a difference.

no make-up

make-up

can't get enough of her!

not gonna lie

i miss the days when we were just friends.

:(

it's a gross pic of us, but it's the only one i've got.

my 21st bday.

smitten like you wouldn't believe

i kinda really like

this picture of us <3.

Ughh

Brandon is going to kill me at the gym on Thursday. I'm kinda looking forward to it cause I need an intense work out. My usual workout routine is basically stay on each machine for like 5-10 mins each. I have a feeling it's not going to be anything like that haha. O well it'll totally be worth it in the end. I just want to get into shape so badly. I just want to have a positive self image and be able to wear whatever the hell I want and not feel uncomfortable or fat. Also cause no one wants to date a fatty. I don't know how John was attracted to me when I was chubbier. When I look at old pictures of my face, I get so grossed out. My face was so fat and round. Ewwww. Hahaha at least I'm trying to change that now. It feels good when people actually notice. Not eating all that yummy food I've missed out on is starting to pay off. I've already lost 10lbs. I wanna lose like another 15-20 then I'll be content. I have such a fatty body lol. I'm just afraid of losing all my boobs. I don't have much left to spare :(.

:)

I honestly couldn't be happier :). I love that I'm having so much fun being single. I'm surrounded by such amazing amazing people. One of which I'm really growing fond of <3.

not gonna lie

i kinda miss having someone to come home to, other than kim of course.

i miss having someone to watch tv with and spend my weekends with. being with my girls is great and all, but i just feel like something is missing...

i miss this most of all.

bored out of my mind

i really hate this class. i just want this semester to be over so i can be done with school! well for now at least. i really need to get started in looking into PCC for the speech therapy program. ughhh. 2 years isn't so bad right?! but in the mean time i just want someone to hire me alreaddddy :(. UPS is great, but i need something to occupy my time during the dayy.

FONZI!!

ok seroiusly wtf

worst friends ever. so i'm going through my old pictures and i look so freakin' fat. WHY DIDN'T ANY OF YOU TELL ME?! bleh. i'd post one, but it's too gross.

i think my face will always be chubby, but this a decent improvement. lol

no i'm not lucky, i'm blessed

love this

ok so like

i'm done with school in a matter of days practically. i'm so excited to finally be getting out of there. it only took me 5 years. hahaha i'm sure that my dad is thrilled. as of right now, i have no idea what i want to do. i'm debating on whether to go back and study speech therapy or to just find a full time job and still work at UPS. honestly, i get mild panic attacks just thinking about my life after graduation. i honestly don't know what to do. i just know i want that $$$$.

on a happier note

i can't wait to go out with my girls this weekend :)

I'm almost positive that he hates me.

And I don't blame him. I really did a number on him. Now that I look back at it, I feel so terrible with how things ended. One min we're fine. The next we absolutely hate each other. I know most of it was my doing. There really are certain things that are better off unsaid. But being the vindictive bitch that I am, I totally let him have it. He really didn't deserve this. I was his everything and I threw him out like yesterdays garbage. I really feel like I'm the worst person in the world. Even though I try to justify my actions by blaming him for his incompetance, it's still not fair. You don't treat someone you love that way, regardless of how annoying you think they are. I know I say I wasn't in love him because of the way I treated him, and that's probably true. But as friends I definitely do love and care about him. I know it doesn't make sense or matter now. But that's just the way I am. A great friend, but a horrible girlfriend. I just wanted to put that out there and get it off my chest. If you're reading this, I'm genuinely sorry for the way things turned out. I really do miss the old you :(

i'm using this time

to grow up.

i wish you'd do the same "/

<3

he did everything for me

and that still wasn't enough.

i guess you can't force yourself to love someone, regardless of how much they love you.

ughh this semester

has been so ridiculous. 19 units is no joke. i think i've got a good blend of classes where i can pass with all A's and B's and maybe one C lol. it turns out cognitive psych is not my cup of tea. i hate it. i could careless about STM AND LTM. i care more about personalities and stuff like that. but owell. it is what it is. i just can't wait to finish and get a real job and make $$$$. at least i've already accomplished something on my "to do list". moving out has probably the best thing i could have ever done for myself. it's really teaching me responsibility. even though my dad still pays for the big stuff, i'm learning how to manage my money better, well sort of.

it's been a while

since i've last blogged. over a month i believe. ehh not much has been going on. same ol' same old. uhmm well john and i still together lol. it's a bit of a shock since we fight almost everyday. i guess it just shows how much we both really want this to work. this weekend will mark our one year anniversary. woohoo. a whole entire year, it went by kinda fast. we've had our ups and downs, but overall it was worth it. what can i say, i love the kid.

love this song

i was gonna post it, but youtube wont' let me

madonna - take a bow

ok so like

john and i have been together for almost a year. time kinda flies.

i wanttt!!!

Canon EF 35mm f/2 Wide Angle Lens for Canon SLR Cameras

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so i have

this new obsession of owning a deep fryer. i just want one sooo badly. i googled a recipe for tempura ice cream and it sounds soo easy to make, i just need a freakin deep fryer. that's the only thing standing between me and my temp icecream. :(

deep fried twinkie

deep fried klondike bar

tempura ice cream!

i've become

quite domesticated. i'd make a great house wife. HINT HINT. haha jk. but seriously though, i've learned to cook, clean and even do dishes! i'm quite proud of myself. moving out made me so much more responsible. so far john's favorite thing that i've made is this macaroni casserole, it was really easy and actually fun. i think he also likes my sinigang. i LOVEEEE sinigang. i think i'll actually make some today for shayna and maria if they still come over. sea food city is my new favorite place to go grocery shopping cause it has EVERYTHING i need to make the stuff i want. well duh. haha but still. i just hate that it's kinda far. i wish it were closer. like where pavillions is, across the street. super convenient. i even made fajitas the other day. those turned out bomb too.

FAJITAS!

my one true love!

MEXICAN CORN! yumz!

this still

makes me lol

i swear, my sister sends me the funniest random shit. haha loves her.

john and i

decided not to go to hawaii anymore. we figured since we both have been there that we'd go someplace new. someplace that needs a passport :) hahaha. and other than that, the trip it self was probably gonna cost at least 5gs. if you know john, then you know he'll only book the number one rated hotel and only eat at the best reviewed restaurants. and obviously that cost money. john and i are growing up and we're beginning to realize that we need to start doing grown up things, like being responsible with money. we need to learn how to save and invest our $$$$. i don't want to end up like those couples who live from paycheck to paycheck and are drowning in credit card debt. i want to live stress-free from all of that. and the best way to do that is to learn now and to start saving at a young age.

this is what smart grown ups look like. bored.

wow, it's been a while

so a lot has happened since the last time i've blogged. that's actually what kept me from getting on this. well, i don't really know where to begin. i'm just gonna avoid the sad stuff cause i don't really feel like getting bummed out right now. so i'll start off with the fact that i'm so close to being done with school. i really hate talking about it just because i really should have been done by now. only if i had decided earlier on a major then forsure i would have been out of csun years ago, but there's not point in dwelling in the past. i'm just excited to finally get the hell out of there. so tired of school. i just want to live my life and see what the world has to offer.

PLEASE VOTE FOR KARA AND TIMOTHY!!!

http://www.shadetreefilms.net/blog/

thanks!

please open this link:

www.tinyurl.com/meganfoxslip

can everyone please

pray for my mom and aunt. my mom recently felt a dribble in her chest. like really fast heart beats. she went to urgent care today but all her tests came back negative. so it's still a mystery with what's going on with her. i just hope she's ok. if anything ever happened to my mom dad or anna, my world would pretty much shatter and come crumbling down. i really don't know what i would do. just the thought of it brings me to uncontrollable tears. my family means the world to me. my nane is also in the hospital. she recently suffered from a stroke and she was i guess in coma since wednesday and today she opened her eyes. but the doctors still weren't getting a response so they're running tests tomorrow. i just pray that she recovers fully. like this never happened. i love my aunt so much. she always took care of me when i was a kid. she would always put others first. going on about it just makes me more sad. so i'll just stop here. just please keep my family in your prayers. i'd really appreciate it. thanks.

gah

i'm in class bored out of my mind. at least i started on my real world paper for psych. i'm just so glad this semester is almost over! i am not looking forward to summer session though :( kawawa. i just need to endure a little longer then it will all be overrrr. summer sesh then fall semester and i should be done. God willing. ok that's all. class is almost over. so i should probably pack my stuff.

sometimes...

i feel so insecure. maybe if i were prettier or had a toned body, he'd love me more...

maybe if i were smarter, or maybe even had the same interests as he does, we'd get a long better.

;afj;lsdfjkal;skdfja;lsdjkfal;sd

i wish he'd learn how to listen!

that's all i ask for. i could care less about the money, gifts, or vacations. i just want him to listen.

:(

i LOVEEEE..

my new apartment. i love everything about it, the rooms, the layout, the location...EVERYTHING! i just feel so bad that i rarely ever get to see kim. our schedules are so out of sync. when she gets up for work i'm probably barely going to sleep, when she comes home from work, i'm about to get ready for work. when i get home from work, she's probably getting ready to go to sleep. haha that's pretty much how it is. hopefully we'll get to spend more time together on the weekends. i can't wait to go out and have fun with her. she really is so sweet. i can't believe anyone would have anything bad to say about her.

i should really

take my camera around with me more often. i feel so bad that john got it for me for xmas and i barely use it. i only use it to change my facebook default picture. haha. i know i'm not a great photographer, but i should atleast try and capture some memories digitally when we go out. it might give us a reason to go out more often instead of staying in like bums. i really need to google new places john and i can go to. i feel like we're such a boring couple. we don't do anything fun. we don't even go out to eat at new places anymore, esp since i moved out. i'm paying rent, and he's supporting me. haha. so we don't really have that much extra cash to spend. i feel so bad. i really need to find a way to show him how much i appreciate everything he's done for me....

i need to find more

ways to show my boyfriend how much i appreciate him. he is seriously the most amazing boyfriend ever. i can't stop gushing over him. i know people think i'm probably so lame for talking about him all the time, but he really is the best thing that's ever happened to me. i know we have our bad days, and i mean REALLY bad days. but we;re learning to overcome them and come out happy in the end. like yesterday for example; it was such an ugly day for us. we had tension between us the entire day. we even almost went on a break. but we both know breaks never last for more than a few hours with us. but when we woke up today, we were both feeling much better. today was a great day for us. if i had to rate our days. yesterday was like 2 and today was a 10. john is honestly so supportive and selfless. ever since i've moved out he's taking such great care of me, especially financially.

i was doing

nothing!


lol deleted. this post was so dumb.

can't sleep!

i really feel like i'm developing insomnia. it's so difficult for me to sleep now. i hate it! i used to be able to fall asleep like a baby. kawawa. :(

so i went to the gym today, and my body is so sore! but the good kind. i miss this feeling. i really need to stay dedicated to this. i felt so out of place at the gym cause i feel so dumb trying to use the equipment. esp the difficult ones. hahaha i'm just like uhh. how does this thing work?! luckily some of the people there are nice enough to help me out. haha i'm gonna get buff like this! no boy will be able to resist me!

i feel like

my blog is so boring now cause i haven't posted any pictures of anything. not even myself. haha. well that's about to change! i just wanted to share this picture of myself just cause. haha

i really can't say this enough

but i really do have the best parents in the world. they have always been so supportive of me and all the decisions i make. like for example, moving out. i know it's gonna be hard for my parents to see me go, just as much as it's going for me to leave them. i like mentioned earlier, i've never been away from them for more than 3 days. the good thing is that i'm not moving too far away. just a few cities over. i know i've wanted this for so long, but as i'm counting the days towards our official move in day, i start to feel kind of lonely. i know i'm going to have kim there and all, but i'm sure we'll rarely see each other because of our busy schedule's. she's got her job and her own thing going on. and i've got school and work. don't get me wrong, i'm still really excited about it, i'm just going to have to adjust.

so it's finally happening!

i'm moving out this week! ahhhh. i'm kinda sad that i'm leaving home. i'm gonna miss living here so much. this really is such a big step for me. i've never been away from home for more than 3 days. just thinking about it is really making me sad. i was excited at first but now it just feels lonely :(

hmm

so it turns out, i don't know how to be in a healthy relationship. the last 2 relationships i've had ended disastrously. i think the problem is that the guys i'm dating are younger than i am. they don't know how to handle someone with my kind of personality. i'm not affectionate or sweet. i'm not your typical gf. i'll rarely ever call you, i'm not big on flowers, and i'm not very romantic or mushy. i think the biggest problem i had with the latter boyfriend is that he claimed i was emotionally abusive. in my mind that's absolutely ridiculous. was i sometimes mean yes, but a majority of the time he provoked it. let's use this as an example. ugh i'll just end it here.

i should be doing stats hw

but i can't concentrate.

ughhh

:(

I FINALLY DID IT!

kim and i signed the lease last night to our new apartment! soo exciting! i really can't wait to start moving our stuff in! ahhhhh!!! i feel so grown up! it's really going to be amazing. that's all i'm gonna say for now :)

i think i'm starting to slowly realize how needy i really am...

so i've decided

that just for the hell of it, i'm going to dress up everywhere i go. i have SO MUCH clothes and i really only wear a fraction of them. but the problem is, i don't have anywhere to wear them to cause i never go out anymore. so i'm just gonna wear them anywhere i go lol even if it's the damn grocery store. haha i can't wait to move out with kim! i'm mostly excited for the closet space! haha it's gonna be so much fun.

john told me to start practicing my new signature. and i was like what? and he was like, you know "sarah ghaemi"

haha :)

GUESS WHO

IS LEARNING HOW TO EAT BROWN RICE?

ME!

it's been a long battle with my mom. she's been trying to get me to stop eating white rice since i was probably in the 7th grade. she would try all sorts of ways to try and mix brown rice into my diet, but i was NOT having it. well until recently. she bought this one kind that i really like. i can't even really tell it's brown rice. and it suppose to be better for me. she's also trying to cut meat out of my diet, but little does she know, john and i actually had korean bbq today. i had a ton of meat. haha but that will be our little secret. but as much as possible, i really do want to stay away from red meats. i wanna be fit damnit. if not fit at least healthy. i want to live a long and healthy life like my 97 yr old grandma. she's going to outlive the whole mendoza clan. haha

at lola's 97th bday :)

baby is a keeper forsure :)

john and i were all over dtown today. we went on a mini adventure. when we were in little tokyo we went to this boutique and i tried on this dress, while i was still trying it on, he told the lady who owned the store that he was going to buy it for me. when i got out she told me that i was so lucky to have such a generous and handsome bf. then as we were getting off the redline, john had to use the restroom. as i was out there waiting for him this man tapped me and told me that he followed me just to tell me how beautiful i was. i was a little creeped out at first cause he FOLLOWED me for a good 5 mins. haha then as john came out of the bathroom the man told john he was so lucky to have such a gorgeous gf. haha. i just wanted to share that with everyone haha. i'm so blessed to have an amazing bf. regardless of how superficial this story is. haha

"I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner, I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to go wrong. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles."

- Audrey Hepburn

i really should update this thing a little more often. but i've been so boring lately that i don't have anything to write about. uhhhhh...uhhhh. let's see. anna and i actually when out for st. patricks day. we went to some bar in studio city called laurel tavern. it was nice. i went with steven and his friend pablo. uhm that's about it. so john and i are suppose to go to dtown tomorrow and take the orange line and the subway together, but i'm starting to have second thoughts about that. i don't know if i should spend the day with him tomorrow. he's been getting on my nerves lately. it's partly my fault but mostly his. haha i don't want to talk about him anymore. he was sweet to me on weds when he brought me snacks from the japanese market on sawtelle, he brought me veggie chips, choclate covered almonds, these bomb ass cookies, and my favorite of all EGG SANDWICHES. they're so bomb. the bread they use to make it is amazzingggggggg. i'm craving one right now. :( kawawa face. i'm not really a fan of egg sandwhiches, but this one is sooo yummay. uhm let's see what else...oh i've also come to the conclusion that i will NEVER visit john for lunch cause we always end up fighting. i don't think i've ever gone to have lunch with him and leave not angry/annoyed with him. and i'm trying so hard to become more patient with him, but he makes it so damn difficult. he needs to learn how to listen. like REALLY listen. i feel like everything i say to him goes in one ear and out the other :( i don't want to talk about him anymore. it's making me sad. the end

girly post

so shayna i were talking about make up earlier, and i can't decide if i want to really start putting any more effort than i already am to my "outward beauty." i was watching a few make up tutorials on youtube and one that really caught my eye is michelle pham. she's this really beautiful vietnamese girl with fair flawless skin. she also knows what she's doing when it comes to make up. watching her really made me want to buy everything at sephora. but once i actually buy it, i know i'll be too lazy to ever use it. i have so much make up already that i barely touch. yeah ok, i've come to the conclusion that i'm too lazy to wear make up. like the saying goes, less is more.

i take it back

:(

i want a nose job.

my nose looks better from the side.

so i'm outside

my class right now waiting for class to start. it's not for about another hour or so. i wish i was bomb at math so i wouldn't have to come to class. ughhh but once i miss a class, i'm instantly behind. ughh it sucks. i brought a whole roll of toilet paper with me cause i was too lazy to look for our packets of kleenex. i've almost used up the whole roll. i'm that sick. it's so embarrassing blowing your nose in class. esp when there's a test going on. i really wish this stupid class wasn't on the 3rd floor. i really want to get a bagel and cream cheese. but i don't think i'll make it back up the stairs. ughhh. i hate being sick. i never get sick. i don't even know how this happened. when i woke up this morning i was feeling feverish. if i don't get better by tomorrow i'll probably end up having to go to the drs. ahh my feet fell asleep. now they feel funny. i wish anna would read my mind and bring a me a plain toasted bagel with 2 cream cheese packets. i also wish john didn't lose his phone so i could text him how horrible i'm feeling and so he can text me back something that'll make me feel a tad bit better. :( kawawa face.

so as i was saying

before i lost track. once i really felt like i lost john, i knew i had to change. i would keep telling him, i need to lose you in order to be driven to change. otherwise if you don't leave me, i'll stay the way i am. and i knew i was hurting him, but i couldn't help it. so once we got back together the next day, i was like a completely different gf. it felt nice. it's still sometimes a struggle cause he still sometimes doesn't listen. being in a relationship is learning about compromise. it can't always been one of the partner's ways. it has to go both ways in order for it to function properly. i can actually utilize that knowledge now. i've always known it, but as long as john was ok with everything being my way. i kept it that way. but now things are different. i really see a future for us :)

relationship stuff

so john and i went through a rough patch. but i think we're all better now. we're learning to compromise. i can't be such a bitch and he has to learn how to listen. if we keep this up we'll be on the right path to a healthy relationship. last week when we broke up for less than 24 hrs, my dad was asking, "where's john?" and i told him we broke up, my dad was like, what did you do? haha then i explained to my dad that was too mean of a gf and he deserved someone better. all my dad could say was, he was such a good kid. i can tell my dad really took a liking to him. so when we got back together i think my dad was relieved. so whenever my dad doesn't see john, he's always asking for him. trying to make sure we're still together. and whenever john and i fight, my dad always sides with john. it's kinda cute. like yesterday, john was driving semi wrecklessly in the rain, and he knows i hate it when he drives like that. ESP in the rain. so as he was making a left turn, he almost hit someone. i let it go. i said just be more careful as sweetly as i possibly could. then when we were a stop sign away from my house. he almost hit another car cause he didn't look both ways. that's when i flipped out on him. my dad new i was pissed when i came into the house. when we explained what happened. all my dad said was "all that matters is that he didn't hit anyone and you guys are ok." he didn't even lecture him on safe driving! but yeah. that's all. haha oh yeah i totally lost track of what i was writing. i'll just start a new post.

ok so like

whenever john and i find a new place that we like, we tend to go there A LOT. right now it's benihana. we've been there 3 times w/ in the past four weeks. it would have been 4 consecutive times if we hadn't broken up last week and if we didn't try yomato or yamoto, whatever the next day. 2 out of the three times i got the deluxe treat which is lobster tail and filet mignon. john got something diff all three times. first land and sea which was filet mignon and scallops, then filet mignon and shrimp, and yesterday lobster tail and hibachi steak. it was so bomb. i'm getting it next week. so you better save up baby. hahaha. but our favorite part about dinner is the ice cream. their is just something about their vanilla ice cream that makes it taste so bomb. another favorite part of the dinner is the soup. i LOVE that soup. not as much as i love the corn pottage from curry house. but it's getting close to a tie. yeah so this blog was basically about how much john and i love benihana. haha

ugh i hate being sick!

i was so productive today

it feels really good. now all i've got left is work and gym after wards. i'm going to try so hard to stay dedicated to it, esp since i got john to join with me. i'm also looking into bikram yoga. it looks intense. but that's what i need. i need to get serious about losing weight if i ever want anything to happen. i know it won't happen on it's own. i found this one class in encino that's beginner friendly. it's awesome cause the first class is free to first time students. if i like it i'll buy a few sessions. but i wanna shop around and see which one i like best. they're also offering yoga and pilates classes at 24 hr fitness. i just need to stop being lazy and be willing to get up in the mornings so i can get everthing done. they say the best time to work out is in the morning anyway. it's perfect cause on tues thurs and fris i don't have class. so i don't have an excuse not to go. so today i saw the psych adviser at school today and he helped me figure out the steps to graduation. so it turns out i'll be done by fall '10. which isn't bad at all. but i'll have to wait til spring to walk. i could care less about walking. i just want my degree so i can find a full time job. i'm hoping it's with UPS, but we'll see. i'm just glad i'm on the right track. i just need to stay focused so i can do it all in time.

sarah and anna

incase you haven't seen it on my fb yet.

so john and i

went to yamato or yamoto last night, i forgot the name of the restaurant cause it was such a terrible experience. we originally wanted benihana, but supposedly it was a two hour wait. so we were like screw that. we'll get the next best thing cause we were STARVING. we already had a pretty bad experience the first time, but we figured hey, maybe it was just a bad night. so we gave it another shot, and it turns out it's bad all the time. maybe it's just the encino location in particular. the chef at the table next to us was trying to do a trick with the egg while he was making the fried rice and accidentally hit the lady in front of him with the egg. it was right in the face. it was so horrible. i felt so bad for her. if it had happened to me i would have thrown a fit. i was already hungry and having a bad experience. that would have just been the straw that broke the camel's back! never again will we go back. the chef's there don't even know what they're doing. john calls them the benihana rejects. soo true. ok that's all.

i'm so tired.

so like, i'm in class right now and i'm starting to doze off. so i thought i'd do something to kinda keep me busy for like the next 5 mins. there is about half an hour left in this class. i swear. this damn class always makes me want a baby so badly. haha i know it sounds ridiculous, but baby's are so damn cuuuuteeee. ok i'll just stop right there.

25 random facts

1. i type pretty fast

2. i work at ups
3. i love to eat.
4. i want to be skinny
5. i go on fb everyday
6. i'm addicted to farmville and it's all andy tsang's fault
7. i'm allergic to eggplant
8. i'm really photogenic
9. i look better in pictures than in real life
10. i have a lot of fb friends but not a lot of close friends
11. i dated my current boyfriend's ex girlfriend's cousin.
12. i can't grow my nails long cause they break easily
13. i love shopping as much as i love eating
14. i have over 100 pairs of shoes
15. i have over 100 dresses
16. i have a lot of clothe in general
17. i enjoy blogging at sarsmelinda.blogspot.com
18. i think twitter is pointless
19. i love nutella
20. i hate the rain
21. i want a bmw
22. i love my boyfriend
23. i have small feet
24. i have big boobs
25. sometimes i like to make stories up. lol

so i keep going

back and forth on whether or not i want my own apt. at this point i think i can totally afford one, but do i really want to invest that money on something i don't really get to keep. yeah sure it's the price i pay for ultimate freedom but shouldn't i invest my money more wisely? ehh if the right apt comes along at the right price, i'll know what to do then. at this point if i really want to move out, i'm going to need a room mate. and there isn't really anyone out there that i'd be willing to live with that's financially stable enough to move out of home. everyone keeps saying to live with john, but that's a big no no. i think it'd be fun living together at first, but i just don't think i'd be able to do it. first of all our parents would not allow it and second, if we did get married, i wouldn't have anything to look forward to.

this post is dedicated to mexican corn

I MISS YOU SO MUCH!

BUT I'M TRYING SO HARD TO CUT OUT JUNK FOOD. BUT I DON'T THINK THAT I SHOULD HAVE TO SACRIFICE MEXICAN CORN. CAUSE HONESTLY, I COULD EAT LIKE 10 A DAY. IT'S MY MOST FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD. :( BUT IT'S SOOOO FATTENING. IT'S LIKE MAYO, PARMESAN CHEESE, BUTTER, AND CHILLI. MMM SOOO YUM. JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME SO SAD. HAHA OK I'M DONE.

ok so like

i'm starting to get really good at saving money. i just got my tax refund and boy was it a fatass check :) thank goodness my dad does my taxes cause that way i know he has the best intentions for me. originally he gave me the amount but when i saw the money deposited in my acct. it was 1000 more than i expected it to be. it was quite a pleasant surprise. i put most of my money towards my bills and such. i also treated myself to some new clothes. i haven't shopped in what feels like months, but in reality is only weeks. i blew my money at f21 cause i like to shop in bulk there. i had two arm fulls of clothes. it felt nice. i tried shopping for john but i couldn't figure out where the levi's store was. plus i was already running kinda late for work so i had to jet out of there. but instead i bought him a new game for the ps3 i got him. i'm so lame. for his bday i bought him a ps3 but didn't think to buy him a game or a blue ray dvd. in my defense i had no clue what kind of game to buy him. but last night i scrambled around target looking for a game that he might enjoy. i also called one of my buddies to ask him for his advice. i ended up getting him a game called "infamous" i've never heard of it, but whatevs. i hope he enjoys playing it if he doesn't decide to exchange it for a different one. hmm so yeah. that's pretty much it.

it's been a while

my life has been consumed by school, work, john, and mostly farmville. damn that game is addicting. and this is all andy's fault. the only reason i signed up for it was because he was like "oh i need neighbors and i need you to send me gifts" so being the kind friend that i am, i signed up. and now look, i'm hooked. i've only been playing for a week and i'm already on level 28. i haven't even changed my default picture in so long. it's long overdue, but i haven't cared about the way i look in quite some time now so i don't really have any reason to take pictures of myself. lol hmm well that's about it. i'm too lazy to go on.

i'm trying really hard

to learn how to be financially stable. i'm trying to get all my ducks in a row. i'm tired of living from paycheck to paycheck. it's a pain in the ass. as of right now, i'm trying to figure out how stocks work. for some it may be a piece of cake, but for me it's like learning a completely new language. i wanna figure all this stuff out while i'm still fairly young. i don't want to have to worry about learning this kind of stuff when i get older. i need to learn how to be responsible with my money and what to invest it in to make the most of it. my parents have been really good examples on being smart with your money. my dad has only bought things he can pay for in full. this is why he lives so stress free, he doesn't have to worry about debt and making payments. i want to be like that. the good thing about my parents is that they know how to save money. they don't spend it on useless shit. and when they do spend, they do it wisely. i just wanna win the lotto damnit.

my goal is

to keep my hair super healthy and not cut it for a really really long time. i miss having super long hair. having normal length long hair is boring.

michelle didn't appreciate

my chunt hair at work yesterday. haha

i'm so bored

i should really start on my yelp reviews. but i'm really too lazy to do it. i thought that i'd do it a few nights ago, but i totally forgot. or i got distracted. i don't really rmr. i have music playing right now. so this blog post might have a few grammatical errors. so my bad in advance, unless i've already messed up. i'm kinda bummed i didn't get my mexican corn today :( o well. it's good that my body takes a break from it anyway. i'm sure all that mayo can't be good for me.

i feel so gross

bleh. i just went to jack in the box and i feel disgusting. i shouldn't have gone. i need self control. and to make it worse i got the jumbo deal. i'm too lazy to finish this blog post.

i think it'd

be a good idea if i started packing my own lunch/snack for work and school. that way i don't get tempted to buy food or order something totally unhealthy. but i don't know what to bring. i know i like sandwiches and jello. so that's a start. ohh and i can buy bottled water and caprisun from costco. i need to make my parents take me to costco this weekend so i can start packing my lunch. i want to buy the brown bags and everything lol.

in all its glory

because i didn't think one picture was enough haha

school lunch :)

i miss summer

it needs to be summer already! i miss short shorts, skirts, tank tops, and swimming. i miss my bronzed skin. i should really get started on working out so i can have a "beach bod" i really don't wanna work at it, so my plan is to just eat less. just now i halfed my lunch with anna, yeah it was mashed potatoes and a shepherds pie, but whatevs, no biggie. i'll just burn all those calories as i walk up and down the stairs to class. 3 flights. that's a lot. so you know. i got this. haha NOT. i'm never going to get the body i want. i love food too much. and i'm just going to have to accept it. gah. lame. at least i can still be dark. haha. that's really the only thing i don't have to any effort into. it just naturally happens. even during the winter i'm tan, but during summer i'm DARKKK. :) at first i used to hate it. but when people started complimenting me on it. it wasn't so bad anymore. i've learned to embrace it. my mom on the other hand hates it. she wants me to be pale like her. haha but o well.

i want mexican corn so baddllyy

what a good dayy so farr

so i took my own advice and put a little more effort in my outward appearance, and it's really helping me with my mood today. so far, my class has been canceled, the lab was also canceled, and the test was postponed to weds instead of monday :) that reminds me, i still need to buy the book for this class. oh and i also finished my hw assignment that's due in a few hours :) i wish i had more to write about. ehh o well. now i'm just waiting for anna to meet me at the market place at school so she can watchmy stuff and i can buy some lunch. i'm starving. i didn't really have dinner last night. i had tsang bring me hot cheetos. but that's about it. i wanted a happy meal but nooooooooo. haha hopefully i get my happy meal today. oh yeah and i said i was gonna stop eating fatty foods. i lied. ate kara introduced me to this list of restaurants that you HAVE to go to if you live in la. so far i've been to 3. and she's been to like 16 out of the 38. john and i will slowly but surely complete that list. which reminds me, i really need to write more reviews on yelp. i'll do it tonight since i don't have class for the next two days :)

valentines day is around the corner

and i have no idea what john has in store for us. i'm really hoping it is just dinner. i don't want him to spend too much time/money/effort into planning something for me. i'm not big on celebrating vday. just being with him is enough. :)

i really should...

be sleeping. or reviewing my notes for tomorrow's lecture, really, anything other than wasting my time on fb and blogging. ughh. i'm so over school. i hate my self for changing my major so many effing times damnit! but i can't linger on that. all i can do now is move forward and finish the damn thing. i'm really counting on john to marry me and become ridiculously successful so i won't have to worry about money. haha that's pretty much my game plan. just kidding. i honestly want to make my own money. if i try hard enough, i'm sure i can be successful in anything i put my mind too. wishful thinking. ok enough about schoool and the future.

al;sdfkjas;ldjfal;sdjkfa;ljsdfla;jksdf

ugh school

so school started last week. i'm officially enrolled in two lectures and two labs. i would like to sum that up to 4 classes. i know most will only consider it 2 and not count the labs, but because of the fact that 2 sounds so...ahh there's a word i'm looking for! but i can't get figure it what it is. it's on the tip of my tongue! agh forget it. yeah so i've got 4 classes. my two professors seem pretty cool for now. my psych 313 prof seems super sweet. and my psych 320 prof seems pretty laid back and excited about statistical psychology. he seems very organized which is a a MAJOR relief. i really wish i had stuck to psych from the very beginning so i could be done with school already. blahhh. this semester is going to be tough, esp with my new schedule at work. i absolutely hate it. i know it's for my own good, but it still blows. i really don't have any time for myself anymore. the minute i'm done with class i go straight to work on MW. i know it's only 2 days a week, but it's still a dragggg. wahh wahh wahh. i really need to focus on these two classes or my parents will think i'm retarded for not getting at least a B.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

so you're 22 today :)

what a stud <3

i love john

i really do fall more and more in love with him as each day goes by. he has been nothing but amazing to me. i still don't know how i've been so blessed to have such a loving boyfriend. today for my bday, john made 3 separate reservations just incase i didn't like the original choice he picked. i really don't know what i'm going to do for his bday. it's only 5 days away! i have a few ideas in mind, but there's no way i can top what he's done for me. i'm sure i'll figure something out. it really has to be something special. i'm gonna have to put my thinking cap on. haha. i know he'll be happy with anything i do for him. but i wanna show that i put a lot of effort and love into this. he deserves the best. :) he says he'll be happy if i just got him a card and kiss. crazy boy. haha. there's no way that's going to happen. ahhhhhhhh i wish i were more creative. i actually i wish i were creative period. :(

andy shared this with me

now i can't stop watching it!

guess who shares the same bday as me!

orlando bloom

he's exactly 10 yrs older than me.

what a hunk

i can't waitttt

for dinner tonight at mastro's. since i have no life, i was on yelp reading most of the reviews and alot of them mention the lobster mashed potatoes. i know i'm so lame cause of how excited i get over food. but whatever. it's my birthday, i do what i want :). haha that totally reminds me of that clip on south park. i tried finding it on youtube. but i can't :( owell.

cause you already know :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

just cause it's my birthday i thought i'd share this with you guys. i found this picture while i was cleaning my drawers. it was taken about 10-11 yrs ago. back when i lived in sun valley and all i wanted to be was a little cholita. brace your self.

DELETED, idk what i was thinking posting those heinous photos. idiot - 8-19-14

i should really...

bring my camera out more! especially now that i have a case for it. i really can't wait to get the 5omm lens. everyone has nothing but good things to say about it. i should probably order it on amazon now. ahh i should have ordered it earlier for our trip. o well. :( i think i should buy a tripod for our trip. hahaha i have one but it's super dinky. i don't trust that thing to hold up my dslr. maybe my point in shoot. but not the xsi. haha the xsi makes me look so much better than i do in person. it's kinda sad.

i know...

this is old news, but i'm so spoiled/blesssed, whatever you call it. in the end, i get what i want. almost always. and in return i want to try and be a better person. if God's going to bless me with all these amazing people and things in my life. the least i can do is be a better person/Christian. i know i don't seem religious at all, but i have really strong beliefs. i basically grew up in church. so no matter what, the morals i've learned have been instilled in my life. no matter how much i try to fight it. the past service i went to at shepherd was about living in faith. and i haven't been doing this at all. i've been so selfish. all i think and care about is myself. how am i going to benefit from this, what is this going to do for me? i really need to reevaluate my life and see where it's headed. because from what i can see, i don't like where it's going. especially in my relationship with john. he really is the best thing that's happened to me yet i try so hard to push him away. ahh ok. so my official new years resolution is to be a better person.

countdown: 2 more days

since i'm not really a big fan of celebrating my bday. i think i've decided that i'll just go out to dinner with john. nothing else. i was planning on having a separate dinner for friends the day after, but i'm feeling too lazy to even plan that. maybe kabuki. it seems like a safe choice. yeah ok damnit. i'll make a fb invite now. no ok nvm. i changed my mind. haha welllll ok. let's see what happens. so i just hand picked the people i wanted to invite. we'll see who decides to show up. i really woudln't mind a small crowd. either way. the main thing i'm really looking forward to is spending time with john this weekend. ahh i can't waitttt :)

23 yrs ago

i really hate

to admit this, and i know it's really late, but i LOVE that song tik tok by ke$ha. i know my taste in music is now completely irrelevant but it's so catchy. it's too bad she weren't more original cause she sounds like a total uffie wannabe. and she totally looks like she loves being jizzed on the face. homegirl look so nastay. she looks like she's in desperate need of a shower. and i'd REALLY love to comb her hair.

pure vanity

i like how long my eyebrows got. i kinda wish they were a little bit thicker though.

well i'm really bored

so i'm going rant about something random.. uhmmmm. i can't think of anythingggg... shopping? i miss shopping so much. i haven't bought anything i really loved in a long time :( the last thing i purchased for myself were these bright yellow neon shorts from levi's yesterday. they were only 9 bucks so i figured what the hell. which reminds me, i left them in john's car. ehh whatever. i don't want school to start yettt. i'm totally dreading it. i wish i could just pay something to get my degree for me. i don't see how it'd be of any use to me anyway since i plan on being a housewife. haha just kidding. i really don't see myself being a domesticated. i want a big office with a couch in it, and also an awesome view in a highrise building. that's the dream. bossing people around. cause honestly, that's what i do best.

i feel so old!

so on saturday john and i went out for shayna's friends bday at les deux. it was me john shayna bryan maria and her friend justin. it wasn't so bad, it's just not what i'm used to i guess. well maybe back in my hoodrat days. haha all i was missing was the blonde hair and shorter skirt. we pretty much made the most of what was handed to us. highlight of the night was getting john to dance with me. it was hilarious. man i love my boyfriend. by 11:30 i was already looking at the time wanting to go home and lay in bed. i couldn't help but wonder how i used to be able to stay up all night and not be a bit tiredd. 2am was still considered early back then but now i want to be home and in bed by 1. maybe it's cause we just havn't done that in a while. i'm sure it has nothing to do with getting older. haha yeah rightttt.

ok so like

i was trying to make a budget of all my bills and how much i get paid. and in approx 3 and half months i should be able to move out. that's if everything goes according to plan. i know i shouldn't move out. and just milk living at home for as long as i can. but i really just want to be independent and try it out. but the only thing holding me back is school. i keep thinking that maybe i should finish school first then move out. yeah i think i'll stick to that plan. that way after i graduate. i'll have much more money saved up. ugh i hate money. i just wanna win the lotto or something. i'm tired of working. i just wanna enjoy life and everything it has to offer. "/

so john's bday

is coming up. and i kinda have an idea of what to get him. but it's not going to compare to what he got me. which i think isn't fair! i really want to get him something sentimental and meaningful cause that's the type of stuff he likes. well i can't go into any further detail cause i don't want to hint too much to him.

so i recently

started to learn how to save my money. it's a growing process. it's not like all my urges to go shopping have gone out the window. no nothing like that. but i'm slowly learning to realize how to differentiate between the things i want, the things i need, and the things i want that i think i need. my ate julie has really been a big help in this. she's really teaching me the value of saving money and helping me step by step to achieve my monetary goals. step one was opening a savings acct with ING DIRECT. i think it's called an orange savings acct. i immediately deposited $50. i know it isn't much, but i plan on putting at least $50 from every paycheck in there. it'll be like my emergency money. but for REAL emergency's. nothing ever retail related. and after i pay off all my bills, i'll increase that $50 t0 $100. and the only way to pay off my bills is if i stop shopping. i really just need to tell my self i don't need anymore things. i've got it all. i've got clothes for all 4 seasons. all the gadgets and electronics i could possibly need and a ridiculous amount of shoes. although i really should invest in a good pair if flat shoes. i have so many pairs of heels but not so many flats.

john is starting

to really get to me. i'm becoming mushy like him. ahhhhh whatever.

TONI BRAXTON - YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME

because honestly

i couldn't be any happier.

ok so like

we all know i'm like the MOST vain person ever. so i was fucking around with my photobooth and i came across this picture. haha i'm so disgusting. i look like jaba the hut. i think that's what he's called. that big fat blob in star wars.


how is the girl above, the same girl in the picture below.


i know it's so self centered to just even make a blog post about this. but i thought the first picture was just worth sharing cause john loved it. haha