Sunday, August 31, 2008

so i finally went out

and btw, i only roll with the flyest ladies. here are a few photos from last night. i'm not gonna lie, even though it started off pretty lame, i ended up having a good time in the end.

i need self control

when it comes to money, boys, and food.

i'm such a compulsive buyer. it's become one of my really bad habits, if i see something, and i like it, i don't even bother to look at the price cause i know i'll have that guilty feeling as i walk to the cashier to pay for it. i'd rather just be surprised. there's really no talking me out of buying something i really want. i'm a spoiled brat. i have so many dresses, jeans, and tops that i really don't need at all. it's become so insane that i don't even have any room to put all my clothes, i'm thinking that even if i do buy the huggable hangers, all my clothes still won't comfortably fit in my closet. these past 2 days alone i bought 8 dresses, why you might ask? i have no fucking clue, i wanted them so i got them. i'm not gonna lie, they're insanely cute. but fuck. i don't need them! and i don't know if i can even wear the to work cause they're a little short, but fuck it. i guess i make pretty decent money at ups, especially for what i do. but eventually i want a place of my own, so i really should start saving up. i guess it's a good thing that my dad's sort of managing my money. ok from now on. no more shopping. i'm going to leave my debit card at home and only bring $40 cash with me wherever i go, cause that honestly should be enough for anything i'm trying to buy. and it really should just be "emergency" cash. ok so that's that.

this is another major thing i need to learn how to control. i honestly think like a fucking guy. i've got issues cause it's really hard for me to get emotionally attached to someone. it takes a lot of time and a good bond/connection for me to really let someone be that close and intimate with me. i mean yeah i'll have a good time with guys and dispose of them as i please and probably never talk to them again and be ok with that. i'd actually prefer it to be that way unless the guy and i end up being good friends afterwards. i mean yeah that's cool. but never do i expect someone to be my boyfriend after a few encounters. and i think that's what throws guys off cause they kinda expect that from girls. they expect me to get clingy, but i don't. if i call or text a guy, it's usually just for one thing. nothing else. i don't need a guy in my life. i can get by on my own. i know i may come off as a really bratty spoiled bitch, but overall, if i were thrown out into the real world, with no support from my parents, i think i'd be able to land on my two feet. sometimes i'm not the brightest crayon in the box, but i'm fully capable of thinking for my self and making good decisions. i don't always do that, but whatever, it's my fucking life. and sometimes you just have to make mistakes once in a while.

i hate being fat. seriously. it's the worst feeling ever, and it's honestly the only thing i'm really self conscience about. everything else i'm cool with. i'm happy with my appearance, clothes, and personality. it's just my fucking weight that always gets to me. especially growing up in a filipino family, i never hear the end of it. the other week i had an aunt tell me to fucking eat one meal a day cause i was getting too fat, i wanted to bitch slap the cunt. i was like what the fuck?! i mean yeah, i know i'm skinny, but i'm not like fucking obese. asshole. that pissed me off. and my other aunt who heard her was like "like as if you should be talking." i was like ha. take that. cause i obviously can't talk back to her, as much as i wanted to , i held my tongue. i'm going to stop eating fast food, no more jack in the box tacos or smoothies. if anything i'll just order the chicken fajita pita, cause i looked it up, and it's actually pretty healthy. actually not necessarily healthy, but it's not bad for you. let's just put it that way. i need to start eating salads again. it's gonna be hard cause i LOVE food. once i stop eating from fast food places, i'll be ok. and i really need to start working out again. i have this stupid fucking gym membership that i'm paying for that i'm not using. ugh. i need to start going. fuck gas. i need to work out.

ok now that i got that off my chest. i'm done.


Saturday, August 30, 2008

here are a few of

the items i purchased this month alone.

hmm. i'm pretty compulsive. it's become one of my characteristics. i don't mind it, but my checking account sure does. :)

hmm ok

so i'm at josh's house right now and i'm using his laptop. and it's so much better than mine. he has this awesome thing that covers the keyboard and makes it silent when i type. and it also keeps dust from getting into the keyboard. hahaha i loveee it.  so i'm in josh's room and he already fell asleep. i'd take a picture but i left my camera in my car. lame. even though i have my own macbook. i couldn't help but take pics on his macbook. haha here's a few. 

as you can see, johnny and i got super bored. 

hmm so other than that, i had another good day. school was alright, andy and i got kinda lost in math today. we like to think we're in ok shape, but we might already be falling behind. but i won't let that happen. school's too important right now. we can't fuck up. we need to graduate already. fuck school! work was really insane when i first came in. the phone would not stop ringing. and we kept getting message after message. but whatevs. it eventually died down and andy and i were free to relax. i actually left the office today before the sun came down. and i actually left the time i was suppose to. i made velez wait for me cause i didn't wanna walk to my car alone. haha. i ended up walking him to his, and he drove me to mine. it was completely unnecessary, but it was a sweet gesture. hm ok the end


Thursday, August 28, 2008

another good day :)

my accounting class doesn't seem all that bad actually. i kinda like the prof, even though she's a woman. i can honestly say i prefer men as professor's, i don't know why. but whatever.

i'm seriously addicted to these:

Mango Smoothie's from Jack In The Box.

they're surprisingly delicious. i'm addided to them, i've had one each day this week. sometimes even two. i just looked up the health facts, and it turns out they're not healthy :( there's a shit load of sugar in them. damnit. they're also high on carbs :( bummer. who cares. it's yummy.

hmm so today at work, michelle brought as those cookies as promised. they were amazing. everyone loved them. i only had one though. since i'm so sweet and generous, i pretty much gave them to people at work. let's see, i gave one to brian, sandra, jose, graham, bj, andy, t-sang, kevin, and i saved a little piece for velez cause everyone ate them. haha i think tonight was the lastest i ever left work. i love my job. since i had nothing better to do i stayed in the office with andy for a few extra hours. i don't think i'd do that for any other job.

i want school to be over already.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


so i've got a new crush :)

but other than that, today was a somewhat productive day.

i went to class, learned a few things, got lasagna and mash potatoes with andy. got a few more things done. then went to jack in the box and picked up a smoothie for michelle and i. went to work.

hmm work today wasn't so bad. it was actually a good day. michelle promised to bring andy and i cookies tomorrow. at least i have something to look forward to.

life is good.

i want a bf

so i can dress him up.

which reminds me, my crush is on vaca :(

i'm hopeless


i NEED this so bad

Ultra Slim Ocean Flocked Hangers (Set of 50)

The ultra slim shape of these hangers provides three times the amount of closet space. Best of all, the velvety surface prevents clothing from slipping. Each hanger features indents for slips and similar items.


ok. i'm done.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

so today was my 2nd day in school

and i didn't even fucking make it to my first class. it took me a whole hour to find parking which btw wasn't even on campus. ugh. what a horrible 2nd day.

can't wait for pizza with andy tomorrow.

mwf classes = :)

trth classes = :(

so yesterday i went back to school shopping at csun's bookstore, and i got this awesome backpack.

awesome right?

i know.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

so i'm feeling pretty good right now

can't say why.

but i just do.

i'm on a mission to get those huggable hangers damnit.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

i just finished watching...

pretty woman.

and man i love that movie.

it made me want to fall in love. but whatever.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

ok but seriously though...

i've gained a shitload of weight and my self esteem is so fucking low. i hate my body right now. i'm going to stop buying food and just starve, i really think that's the way to go. i'm just gonna save my money or spend it on useful shit like huggable hangers cause God knows i need the closet space. i really need to stop shopping, but i just can't help it. my grammar is probably all fucked up cause i'm listening to music as i type this shit. i feel like i haven't gone out lately cause i don't have any pictures to post. but i guess i've been having fun. i've just been laying low. let's recap.

thursday night - went to howl with lo and met up with daniel, then payed kevin a quick visit

friday night - got so fucking trashed that i fell asleep in my car in front of lo's. so i guess that means i had an awesome time.

saturday night - chilled with nick, ray and iris. didn't drink but had fun watching them do power hour.

sunday night - i really don't rmr what i did...oh yeah i went to my grandma's. then i don't rmr what i did afterwards.

monday night - went to mel and kim's, swam, waited for daniel, then he watched me swim, then we chilled at the park, and observed these 3 weird dudes.

tuesday night - spent it again with kim and mel then this time we added johnny to our group.

wednesday night - went to farmers with anna, then kim met up with us, then we headed back to kim's and chilled by the pool.

and that's that.

so yeah, back to what i was saying. i'm going to stop buying food. i'm not even gonna buy my turkey sandwiches anymore :(. that makes me kinda sad cause the was the only time i got out of the office for a reasonable amount of time.

hahah ok so today i did the dumbest thing. i have the huggest crush on this guy at work, but i really shouldn't cause of the circumstances, but he's so cute and likeable. ok so yeah, so basically i find the dumbest reasons to go into his office to just bug him. haha. i know i'm lame, but he's so cuteeee.

i feel so boy crazy all of a sudden. whatever. it's not like i get attached. which reminds me, i want a boy friend. haha just for fun you know?

ok. i'm done.


Sunday, August 17, 2008

so i was thinking long and hard...

about what i want and expect from a boy friend, and it turns out that it's a really long list.

i'll get back to this later.

Monday, August 4, 2008

i'm bummed.

i don't wanna go to work today.

but good thing i have plenty of new clothes to choose from :)

ok. i'm done.