sick, exhausted, worn out.

i'm taking a break from my acct hw. it's taking me 2 hours to do 5 problems. and i'm actually doing them. i swear, i've never worked so hard in my life. i had to take a day off from work today cause i worked out last night at around 3am and i ended up falling asleep all sweaty with my ceiling fan on. so when i woke up i had the worst sore throat ever. and that wasn't even the worst part, my whole body was so sore and i had a terrible headache. and just the other day i was telling michelle i don't get sore after working out. i pretty much jinxed myself. i tried going to class today but once i got there i realized there was no way i'd be able to pay attn. so i just left. i actually didn't want to leave but i had to. this is the first acct class i've missed. which really bummed me out. oh and my boots finally came in. they're a lot higher than i though. either that or my legs got shorter. haha whatever. 

ok i need to get back to acct. 

so i've decided

to TRY and cut out meat from my diet. i think i'd be slimmer if i did. hmm yea that's all. i'm gonna stick to fruits and veggies. i'm going to have to learn to like bananas. blah. but whatever. if it's good for me then it's good for me. and i need to learn to eat better veggies. like real vegetables. not just lettuce and shit cause we all know there's really no nutrients in that. it's a man made vegetable. hmm and i also need to cut out sugar and salt. this is going to be hard. at least i've been buying less food. but i haven't really been eating less or better. haha andy's pretty good at satisfying my hunger. just today he brought me my favorite hichews and my absolute favorite ice cream bar. mmmm. ice creamm. ok my show's back on. 

2/3 ain't so bad

so the shoes from forever came in. i'm just waiting on my moccasin boots. i was really expecting those to come in first. UPS is the way to go :) haha i think my boots are arriving by USPS. no buenoooo. whatever. i'm exhausted. i should be working on my math hw. but i'm putting it off for as long as possible. i really don't wanna do it. i know it's gonna be harrd. but fuck it. 

i just remembered.

i was suppose to buy those aldo boots. but instead i spent all my money on hangers. haha

can't wait for these to come in!

HURRY THE FUCK UP UPS!

minus the part

i got my period. today was a pretty awesome day. haha once again i wore another dress to work that was inappropriate. before i could even stand up brian already caught me. hahahahahahhahaha


ok i'll just end it there cause, you know.

haha

hmm. ok.

so like, i was going through my blog right. i just started to think to myself, if the person who were reading this had no idea who i was or anything about me other than the things he/she read about me in my blog, they'd probably think i was a selfish, spoiled, self consumed, materialistic, partially arrogant party girl. most of you probably don't know this about me, but i spend most of my days in school, work, home and church. ever since the semester started i've been consumed with homework and studying. i feel like that's all i do now these days. the only free time i have to myself are my friday nights. and thats really the only time i have to unwind. i even use my saturdays to study now. i've pretty much spent this whole weekend at home, minus friday. that was an exception, it was ray's bday. but beginning saturday morning i got up and cleaned my room. it was a 2 day processes. like i said in my previous blog, i finally got my hangers! you have no idea how excited i was to get them. i know i'm lame for getting excited over hangers, but hey, that's me. and today after church i went back to bed bath and beyond and bought another 100 cause the original 100 i bought wasn't enough. and it turns out 200 is BARELY enough. i had to throw a few things out just so i'd have enough hangers. and i wasn't about to go back and buy another 50 pk. all i need now are storage cases for my bags and shoes. right my i stuff my bags into my closet, but since i don't have a curtain or a sliding door for my closet, it's just out there in the open and it looks really messy and it's irritating the crap out of me. i also need a place to put my dvds. ugh damnit. i'm irritated again. theres so much crap i need to buy to put all my junk in. the only problem is, i have no space to put it. i seriously have the smallest room ever. and it's so annoying. i want my own place already.

i finally got my hangers!

100 is most definitely NOT enough. i have to go back and buy more. i knew i should have just bought 4 sets of 50. blah.

maybe i'll wait for more bed bath and beyond coupons.

if any of you guys have bed bath and beyond coupons that you can spare, please send them my way :)

thanks.

i got this dress the other day

i found a better picture!

i got it from www.fashiontoast.com 

i've made up my mind. i'm buying the right pair this weekend. 

i'm tired

and i still haven't put away my bags. at this point they got all mixed up again cause they were just on my floor so i kept moving them around so i could walk around in my room. and eventually they all got mixed together again. :( all that hard work for nothing...

it's hot

and i feel like a bum, i've been in my room all day. but at least i've been productive. i've done some homework, i cleaned, and now i'm trying to organize my bags. i have them separated under big, medium, small and printed. haha i have too much shit and i have nowhere to put it all. i really want to move out and have my own place just so i can organize everything the way i want. and also so i'll have all the space that i want. i really need to try and control myself from spending money. i need to become frugal. i need to stop spending money on food, clothes and random shit that i don't need. that way i can save up to move out. i mean i just wanna try it out. just to see what it's like. also so i can have the freedom i've been longing for.

NO MORE SPENDING MONEY!

i need a cigarette

seriously. what the fuck is going on. why can't i ever fucking attract a SINGLE honest, good looking guy?! ok so now i'm attracting married men, what the fuck?! ok guys with girl friend's is one thing. but now it's like an epidemic. what is wrong with me?! i'm CURSED. i mean i never ever cheated on my ex-boyfriend, so why is this happening to me. ever since the 9th grade i've only attracted guys with gf's or were at least seeing someone else. never have i made those guys leave their gf's for me, cause i know that if they'll do it to their gf's then they'll do it to me also. and recently i just found out that this guy i sort of had a thing with had a gf. guys are such liars. just tell me upfront whether you have a girlfriend or not. because regardless, i'll probably still hang out with you. i'm not saying i'll fool around with you, but at least our friendship can have an honest start. and from there we can see where it goes. i know girls lie and cheat too, but i'm not one of them. i can honestly say i dated a guy for 3 yrs on and off with out ever cheating on his ass once. yeah i was put in situations when i could have cheated but i didn't. i mean i'm not gonna lie, i was tempted, but at least i had the will not to. i think this is why i don't even wanna get married. i'll be too paranoid of my husband cheating on me and our marriage ending up in divorce. i'm so irritated right now. i wanna swear off guys, but i'm not gonna lie, i've got needs too that only a guy can fulfill, and it's a good feeling to have a guy pay attention to you. fuckkk. i hate myself right now. i'm tired of being the other girl. for once, i want to be in a serious healthy HONEST relationship. but it seems like that's so hard to find these days. almost everyone i know has cheated on their significant other. i can't just jump into a relationship because i have trust issues. i want this person who i'm going to commit myself to, to be a friend first because i made the mistake of jumping into a relationship with my previous boyfriend without starting off with a healthy normal friendship. we kinda just started dating off that bat. and because of that we weren't able to become friends after the break up. so at least i learned my less from that. also i want a non physical relationship with this person first. i want to make sure that sex isn't the only thing he's after. i know that sounds so cliche to say but it's the truth. you don't want to date a guy whose only with you for what you can offer him physically. you want him to want you for your mind, body and soul.

My Top Ten Rules For Dating
1. Be friends first
2. Form a romantic bond or a connection
3. Has to have an awesome personality
4. Make sure you have the same values
5. At least have some things in common
6. Goal oriented; he has to have some form of higher education and a decent job
7. Preferably older than me, if not older than at least mature
8. Knows how to put me in my place.
9. Able to compromise, selfless, unselfish, considerate, that type of shit.
10. Will always know how to make me smile.

i feel lame for posting that but fuck it. i can put hundreds of things on that list, but that's just the general idea of what i'm trying to get at. i mean honestly, are those things really that hard to find in a man? i'm at that age where i wanna explore what's out there and what the world has to offer. so far the world's been giving me guys who are already spoken for. i want one to call my own. not one to share. i'm trying to be patient here, but it makes it hard when these guys come to me. espcially if they're good looking. haha. i'm not gonna lie, i melt for hot funny guys, as superficial as that sounds. but that's just how i am. i like having a good time. but from now on i'll actually care if the guy's taken already. cause i know if i don't stop, karma's gonna kick my ass.

no bueno

ugh. i don't even wanna get into on this, but i had a bad night. i mean it started off pretty good cause i finally finished my accounting homework and got all the problems correct, i'm not gonna lie. i was pretty proud of myself. i deserve a pat on the back. then after accounting class i met up with kamille for lunch. it was the first time i saw her int he LONGEST time ever. it was nice seeing marc too when he came by. so that was that, then i went home and got ready for work. left, got my smoothie, got to work. and work was pretty great. michelle and i didn't have any work to do for like a good hour and half. so we were just messing around and talking when finally we got a message to do. and i swear, it was the funniest thing EVER. this woman claimed that one of our drivers stole her small dog. we coudn't stop laughing. so we sent our driver back over there to settle things. then five minutes later we get a msg from the same lady saying she apologized cause she found her stupid dog. what an idiot, i swear. then from there my day just got worse. minus the part where tsang brought me back some hichew's mmmm :) that was pretty much the high light of my day. ok. i'll just end it here.

just for fun.

back when i was cute

i was so sweet and innocent.



still sweeet and innocent hahahahahaha

i know i didn't like it before

but i kinda like it now.

hmmm but i don't think i'd cut it like that again. i know my grammar's gonna be all fucked up cause i'm listening to rap music right now. haha sorry. but whatever. maybe it's just the way i'm posed. i'm not gonna lie, i'm pretty fucking photogenic. cause i know i don't look that good in real life. which is kinda dissapointing. one of the driver's was looking through my phone the other day and saw my pictures, and he was like damn you look good. and i knew he was thinking, it's too bad you don't look like this in real life. haha here's a few more with the bangs.



i'm telling you man, i'm deceivingly photogenic. it's in my blood. i'm almost 100% sure it has to do with my mom being a photographer. her family had their own photo studio in the philippines. so you can imagine, whenever i go over, i felt like a model. all i did all day everyday i was there was get my picture taken. it was AWESOME. i wasn't like those kids who hated getting their picture taken. i LOVED it. haha getting all glammed up, it was my favorite pass time. espcially since it was too hot to play outside with all the other kids. i wanted to stay in a room that had the AC on full blast. haha i'm not trying to say i'm hot shit or anything. but it's pretty obvious that i look better in pictures than in real life.

could i be anymore in love

with these fucking boots!

i know the picture is really small, but damn. aren't they the cutest?! i know i shouldn't buy them, but i'm so tempted. i barely wear any of the boots i already own. i want theseeeeee damnit. :( they're only $120.00. definitely affordable. it just isn't practical for me to buy. especially since i already have a million pairs of shoes. hmm. maybe if i sleep on it, i won't want them anymore. ha chyeah right. and i found these boots on someone else's blog and they are effing fierce!


i have the cutest dress to go with those boots. man. i need to realx, here i go again. blahh.


i think they're hot, there's something about her shoes that are so appealing to me.

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

stressed

i've got so much homework due this week. ugh. i haven't even bought my book for my geography lab yet. i would have if they had been in stock when i went to the bookstore to try and purchase it, but unfortunately, it wasn't. i'm so sick of school already and it's only the first week. sometimes i wish i was just working full time. but we all know how hard it is to get a better job out there without at college degree. fuck. i mean i like where i'm at right now. i wonder how long i'll be working at UPS. i can't imagine too long. espcially since after i graduate i plan on pursuing something in the busniess field. unless UPS has something more to offer other than a supervisor position. i woudln't mind getting into safety. hahahahahha. only a few will get what i mean by that. but whatever. UPS actually pays pretty well for the work i do. i was thinking about, and if i worked full time there, i'd be making pretty decent money. especialy being single and all and not having a college degree yet. i just wanna be made already, have the bf, my own place, a better car and a bigger closet, and most definitely, a BIGGER bank account. i have such high aspirations for myself, i just need to apply myself harder. instead of writing this blog, i really should be doing homework and studying, but as i type this, it's really motivating me to work harder. i need a desk for my room. i think that'll definitely solve the problem. if i had a desk in my room, it'd make it easier for me to study. studying on my bed is really hard cause it gets too comfortable and i get tempted to turn on the tv and just watch what's on, even if i don't like the show that's on. i wish my room was big enough to fit a desk. hmm i realy need to rearrange it just to see if i could possibly fit one in. i think i might also have to sacrifice my queen size bed for a smaller one cause it's seriously taking up too much room. but i love my bed :( o well.

CAUTION!

please don't date me.

i'm terrible at it. i'm good at making friends, but i'm not good at dating. i get so awkward around guys i like. i used to think it came natural to me, but lately i've been put in situations where i'm like "uhh ok, now what?" haha and i get so self conscience about the things i say. i'm confidant around friends, but around boys i like, i get all shy and stupid. i start stuttering and blushing like an idiot. that's why it's pretty easy to tell if i like a guy, if i don't do those things around you, then i probably don't like you or i'm just that comfortable around you. lately i've been wanting a bf just to see if i'd even make a good gf. i mean, know i can be, but when i look back at my past relationship, i'm almost sure he'd have more bad things than good to say about me. i know my strenghth and weaknesses in a relationship.

ok gossip girl is about to start, i'll get back to this later.

xoxosars.