Friday, July 12, 2013

i want to be better

After going through previous blog posts, I've really come to the realization that I am wayyy too materialistic. Yeah it's great to have nice things and all, but I can't have that control who I am as an individual. as much as i love shopping and buying new shit, i really need to relax. i know i've said it million times before (probably literally) but I really need to make a better effort this time around. instead of spending all my money on pointless things that i'm going to end up replacing anyway, i want to invest my money in something more worthwhile like traveling. Now that I'm only working one job, it's so much easier for me to take time off. Especially since they're pretty lenient about it when it comes to traveling. I obviously can't abuse that but I definitely want to take advantage of that while I still can. Once John and I broke up, I really thought that I would be so limited in the things I could do because I hated doing things alone. One of the biggest challenges I thought would be being able to sleep in my bed alone. After the initial break-up I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep at night that I would exhaust myself during the day with yoga and the gym. By the time I got home I was so tired that I would just fall asleep. I didn't even think twice that I was there alone. Once I made that a habit, it was a piece of cake. Another thing I was worried about was being able to travel. It's always nice to go to new places with your significant other but if you don't have one in your life, the next best thing are your friends. I just recently came back from a trip to Cabo with some co-workers and I had so much fun. It was such a relaxing trip. And it makes me look forward to future trips with my other friends. Another thing i really need to work on is being less judgmental and more humble. I need to stop thinking I'm better than people. I know it's healthy to have self confidence, but honestly I have too much of it. It probably has to do with my financial stability but I have to realize that could be gone in an instant. And plus who am I to think I'm better than anyone anyway. I have just as much flaws as the next person if not more. Now that I'm 26 pushing 27, I really need to get my act together so that I can continue growing to be a better person, not worse.

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