i miss these days

if you're wondering what's in my hand,it's a powdered donut.

there's this skank

in my class, that i wanna punch in the face so bad. she's so motherfucking annoying. she's one of those people that like to show off how smart they are by always adding comments to what the professor says. i hate her. if she weren't so big and ogre like, i swear i'd punch the bitch. it's bad enough the class is boring as fuck, but SERIOUSLY is it necesary to add your two cents to everything he says?! HONESTLY. i'm so irritated right now. i wanna go home :(. class needs to be over now. i haven't taken a single line of notes. i probably should cause i'm not too good at this environmental health shit. sad face.

i want to be here right now

i don't feel well

:(

my bf's new movie

you MUST watch this!

i took this just now

WHY AM I SO DARK. WAHHHHH

i need some love

in my life. 

pls, thanks. 

i broke his heart in 30 seconds flat.

i'm sosososo sorry, i didn't mean to break your heart.

look baby, i'm a heart breaker.

haha i'm listening to it right now, by will.i.am.

it's for no one in particular, but i'm sure there are some ppl i should be singing it to. but whatever.

i felt like today went by so freakin' fast. i woke up pretty early to bake cupcakes and brownies for my boys in brown. i figured it'd be a token of my appreciation for the guys who helped me out while i closed this past week. i'm a rookie when it comes to closing at night but i got through it. and my bad to all the time cards i fucked up hahaa.

which reminds me, i want a new cupcake carrier. i have it in white, now i want it in pink :)

Food Storage Pink Cupcake Caddy

No more smearing or squishing! Now you can transport cupcakes to that birthday party, get-together or bake sale and get them there in perfect condition with this food storage cupcake courier, specifically designed to transport and store up to 36 cupcakes. Great for muffins, too. Remove trays to transport cake. Measures approximately 11" L x 14" W. Dishwasher safe. 30-day warranty.

I HATE THAT IT ONLY CARRIES 36 CUPCAKES, WHY COUDLN'T IT BE 48! cause most of the recipes i have make 2 dozen, so if i make 2 batches, that's 48 cupcakes. where the hell am i going to put the other 12?! and i have a 24 cupcake carrier. but then i have to make an extra half batch to fill in the extra 12 spaces. UGH!

i want a new pair

of glasses, i'm tired of my old ones, and my new ones broke lol

my eyes barely fit in the frame :(

so i started my day early today

kamille and i went to the beach as planned, i actually almost got up in time for it. i woke up just in time to read her bbm that she was already on her way. haha i had literally 5 mins to get ready. i had her waiting outside for a few mins, my bad kamille. we made a few quick stops, vons for snacks and cvs for sunscreen. we go to the beach and it was freezing. we both got to take a nap though and sort of tan. after that we went to this place in malibu called howdys for fish tacos and quesadillas, my fish taco was ok. a bit pricey though. afterwards we headed home and i wanted to take a nap, but someone kept bothering me so i wasn't able to sleep. so i visited one of my drivers while he was on break and just chilled. then headed straight to work. my day went by so fast. now i have to work on my paper :(

this is kamille and her bf marc

so today at work

i closed again, it wasn't as bad as yesterday. but i feel terrible for having andy stay out there over twelve. i'm sorry best friend! i thought i came into work look pretty average, but one of the drivers called me gorgeous today. it made me feel pretty good. esp since i barely had any make up on, and my eye was super red again. it feels good to be noticed. o well.

i wanna cut my hair, but man...

i never thought i'd say this

but being bad doesn't feel good anymore.

:(

back when life was easy and predictable...

i know this is gonna sound dumb

but camera lenses are fucking expensive as hell. lol. i just thought i'd stop by best buy or something and pick up a new lens for my dad's nikon, but apparently i can't afford it. i must have been delirious for a second thinking i could afford that shit. haha. but i really want a new lense for his camera though. lol i'm gonna have a mini photoshoot in my living room cause i'm bored out of my mind.

i probably would

:)

listen to this

this song makes me sad

MARIA MENA - JUST HOLD ME




Comfortable as I am
I need your reassurance
And comfortable as you are
You count the days

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if i liked rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know...

And why can't you just hold me?
And how come it is so hard?
And do you like to see me broken?
And why do I still care?
still care ?

You say you see the light now
At the end of this narrow hall
I wish it didn't matter
I wish I didn't give you all

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if I liked rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know...

And why can't you just hold me?
And how come it is so hard?
And do you like to see me broken?
And why do I still care?

Poor little misunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can't remember life without him
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days

And Why ....
Why can't you just hold me?
And how come it is so hard?
And do you like to see me broken?
And why do I still care?


P.S.
i know it's a very bad still of her face. but it's the only one i could find that would allow me to post it.

i just got back from costco

and my mom bought me all the snacks i want :)

i shopped like a little fat girl, but my mom kept checking the nutrient facts. lol it was kinda annoying, but i got most of the stuff i wanted. i was going through pictures last night and saw how fit my body was in 2007, and damn i miss those days. i'm seriously going to work my ass off to get that body back.

this is what i'm talking about.

i wasn't skinny, but i wasn't fat either. i was pretty fit. :( i'm gonna go work out now.

if i were mexican, i'd look like this

lol straight up hyna.

seriously.

i just worked out

and i can't sleep now.

i can finally touch my toes again lol. i was stretching for over an hour with the goal of being able able to reach down to my feet. it felt good once i accomplished it. i'm not gonna lie, it hurt like a bitch haha. i'm so out of shape, and it shows. that's the worst part. i really need to change my eating habits but it's so damn hard. i really NEED to stop eating out. and we all know how much i love eating out. so it's almost impossible to just quit cold turkey. mmm turkey. but really though. since i've stopped eating out, i started shopping again. i bought a shitload of stuff this past week. in total since saturday, i've bought 6 pairs of shoes, 5 tops, 2 dresses, a cardigan, 2 jackets, and 2 pairs of shorts...i think that's it... but knowing me, i probably forgot something....hmmm....whatever. i got new favorite pairs of shoes. one of them being a pair of stuart weitzman heels and purple fringe wedges. they are out of control as steven would call them. whatevs. i'm happy :) i just wish i had somewhere to wear all this new shit too. i need to go on dates more often. only if guys would ask. i wanted to go out so badly on sunday night that i almost went to the movies alone. good thing rodger was available to watch the movie with him. otherwise, i would have been the only one sitting at the theater solo of the 9 people that were there with me watching fast and furious. i know there's probably typos cause i'm listing to music as i type this. ehh. whatever.

and here's a random picture of me from 2 yrs ago. check out my mane.

i came across this

as i was looking through my laptop for random pictures to post.

i really don't know what i was thinking going out wearing just THAT. i'm so embarrassed. lol but i do remember having a ridiculously awesome time with wendy and the girls. i think that was the first time in a while i felt like i belonged with a group of people, even though i don't talk to them anymore, i can still rmr the good times we had.

so last night

i saw FAST and FURIOUS with rodger. random i know. but there's just something about hot guys driving fast cars that turns me on . i was telling shayna this earlier, and i think she thinks i'm an idiot. but damn, if i could date a hot guy that drove like that, life would be complete. haha i'm kidding, but really though.

here's another random picture

my parents should've named me diana

michael jackson - dirty diana


Oh no . . .
Oh no . . .
Oh no . . .

Youll never make me stay
So take your weight off of me
I know your every move
So wont you just let me be
Ive been here times before
But I was too blind to see
That you seduce every man
This time you wont seduce me

Shes saying thats ok
Hey baby do what you please
I have the stuff that you want
I am the thing that you need
She looked me deep in the eyes
Shes touchin me so to start
She says theres no turnin back
She trapped me in her heart

Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana, no
Dirty diana
Let me be!

Oh no . . .
Oh no . . .
Oh no . . .

She likes the boys in the band
She knows when they come to town
Every musicians fan after
The curtain comes down
She waits at backstage doors
For those who have prestige
Who promise
Fortune and fame, a life thats so carefree
Shes saying thats ok
Hey baby do what you want
Ill be your night lovin thing
Ill be the freak you can taunt
And I dont care what you say
I want to go too far
Ill be your everything
If you make me a star

Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana, no
Dirty diana . . .
Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana, no
Dirty diana . . .
Diana!
Diana!
Dirty diana!
Its dia . . .aa . . .aa . . .come on!

She said I have to go home
cause Im real tired you see
But I hate sleepin alone
Why dont you come with me
I said my babys at home
Shes probably worried tonight
I didnt call on the phone to
Say that Im alright

Diana walked up to me,
She said Im all yours tonight
At that I ran to the phone
Sayin baby Im alright
I said but unlock the door,
Because I forgot the key,
She said hes not coming back
Because hes sleeping with me

Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana, no
Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana, nah
Dirty diana . . .
Come on!
Come on!
Come on!
Come on!...

i don't need a boyfriend

but i want one.

i can't have anyone of the ones i want cause they're already taken, or they don't want me lol

i'm laying in bed alone and it sucks.

i'm never going

to be able to move out with my shopping habits.

i got off work early today, so with the extra free time i had, i decided to do a little shopping. i had decided on buying some work clothes cause brian's been giving me the eye lately about my work attire so i figured i'd do something about it. and i'm tired of throwing my jacket on whenever HR walks into our office. so i went to topanga and left with a nice big smile on my face. i'll post pictures later of the stuff i bought.

my blog seem so dull w/o any pictures. and since i haven't been going out, i haven't been able to post any. so i'll just post some random ones i found on my laptop.

hmm

so i thought i'd update this thing.

i just got back from shopping. my original intentions were to buy work pants cause i'm always getting in trouble for wearing dresses/skirts that are too short. i was gonna go into zara but i figured, why not stop by nordstroms first. so i did, and i walked out with 4 pairs of shoes :). i forgot all about zara and buying work pants. so much for living on a budget. i'm way too compulsive when it comes to shopping. i need to get my debit card back to my mom before i spend all of my money :(

ok, the end.

i think i have a problem...

step one is admitting it.

i'm only attracted to guys who are taken. and by that i mean wifed up, or have a current gf. it's sad i know. you know the saying "all the good ones are either taken or gay", it's TRUE. and it fucking sucks. it sucks even more when they hit on you. cause then you know they're no longer the "good ones." i mean any guy that's willing to cheat on his wife for you, is pathetic. if you think a guy is cheating on his wife for you because he loves you, you're most like wrong. he's probably just horny and isn't getting it from the MRS. i mean i guess the gf situation i can SORT of understand, cause in the back of your mind, you're probably thinking "i'm not gonna marry this girl anyway." i've never cheated, but that's what my mentality would probably be like. i'm sure plenty of people would disagree, but i've never been cheated on, so i don't know what it feels like. but like what they said on FRIENDS "once a cheater, always a cheater" if you pick up a bad habit early on, it's going to be harder to change later on when it really counts. i know this blog sounds random. but it's my life's story.