feeling much better

than yesterday. yesterday was just a really bad day for me. but nothing tacos and a good friend couldn't cure. i think i'm going through one of those weird phases where nothing ever satisfies me and i always find something new to worry about. that's how it's been lately. it's already my fourth year at csun and i just wanna get out of there already. i was talking about it earlier with andy and i think i might just switch my major to bus. law. i know he's against it, but whatever. i really did LOVE that class. that was one of the only classes i ever really enjoyed while i've been in college. i think my college experience would have been so much better if i didn't live at home. i wish i had really applied myself. if i hadn't been to lazy to take the SAT 2's i would have actually had a chance to apply at UC's, who knows, i could have ended up at UCLA lol. i had a 3.4 or 3.6 gpa when i graduated, i took AP classes, i was on the tennis team and i was also in several clubs, and for what it's worth i won one of the stupidest superlatives. i'm not going to say which. i was a pretty well rounded kid. i wanna graduate and go to grad school at UCLA. i just need to stay focused and stay serious about school. i actually did my historical site visit a week earlier than i was suppose to, that shows how much on top of things i am. i'm turning in shit early. i never use to do that. i'm just glad i got that out of the way, cause i know i would have waited the last minute to do it if it were the old me. 

and this whole thing about me wanting a bf, i need to put that shit on hold. cause i barely even have time to bake, how am i going to juggle work, school and a boyfriend. i must be going crazy to think that that's what i wanted. what i really need are friends. i'm really bad at keeping friends. lol. the only constant friend i've really had for almost a year now is Andy, which is quite surprising cause i thought after econ, that'd be the end of our friendship. wow i just realized that we've been friends for almost a whole year now. i think that's a record for the friends i've made throughout college. but it kinda isn't fair cause we see each other in a regular basis, we have classes together and now we work together. lol. the only other friend i have is shayna, but she's been my best friend since 7th grade and i never really see her, but we talk on an almost regular basis. lol. i'm telling you. i'm horrible at keeping friends. i go through cliques. whatever. 

ok. i'm done.