damnit.

i'm going back to the gym. seriously. i'm tired of being fat. it sucks. my self esteem is like so low right now. i need to get back in shape. not that i ever really was. but now would be a good time to start. actually last summer i got pretty thin. that's because i was determined to lose weight. but unfortunately getting back with paul screwed that up completely. so now i'm back to where i started..being fat. no buenooooo. i just hope i lose enough fat in my face so i don't turn out to be a bobble head. cause that'd suck. i'd just gain the weight back so my head would be proportioned to my body. hahaha. i need to get back on that treadmill. at least i haven't been eating out as much as i used to. and i try to eat healthy snacks like fruits and salads. ugh. i wish i was filthy rich so i could do it the easy way and just get lipo. i really really would. i hate exercising. it's so much work. i guess i could put in the energy i used to use for a certain thing towards that. i think that'd really help. ok. i'm going back to the gym and that's final. but i most likely won't go with ray and them cause then i'll get distracted and not want to work out. i need to go alone so i have no one to talk to and wander off with.

i hate being fat :(


xoxo
the whale.