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so i'm sitting here on my bed at 5:43 in the morning because for some reason i can't sleep. i think it's cause i messed up my sleeping cycle big time. so i've been thinking about my life and what i can do to change it. if you asked me where i'd be today 1 year ago, i would have not imagined that this is where i'd be in life. i honestly expected more. i was hoping for better grades, a better job, and maybe even a better boyfriend. but i have none of those things, my grades are crap and i don't have a job or a boyfriend. which btw, isn't really a problem, just the grades. at this point in my life i really just want to stay focused in school cause really, that's what it's all about right now. i really need to relax with the partying and the drinking. i mean it's cool every now and then to go out and do those thing, but honestly, i'm over it. it was fun for the few months i did it. but now i've gotten it out of my system and staying home and relaxing isn't so bad. before i couldn't go a day with out going out. but now, i actually prefer to stay home. i enjoy being with my family, there are so many people out there who take their families for granted and next thing you know it, they're gone. i don't want to look back at my life and wish i had spent more time with them. i mean, it's so sad seeing that happen to someone you know. ok it's late, or should i say super early and i've gone off tangent.


ok. i'm done.