i was doing

nothing!


lol deleted. this post was so dumb.

can't sleep!

i really feel like i'm developing insomnia. it's so difficult for me to sleep now. i hate it! i used to be able to fall asleep like a baby. kawawa. :(

so i went to the gym today, and my body is so sore! but the good kind. i miss this feeling. i really need to stay dedicated to this. i felt so out of place at the gym cause i feel so dumb trying to use the equipment. esp the difficult ones. hahaha i'm just like uhh. how does this thing work?! luckily some of the people there are nice enough to help me out. haha i'm gonna get buff like this! no boy will be able to resist me!

i feel like

my blog is so boring now cause i haven't posted any pictures of anything. not even myself. haha. well that's about to change! i just wanted to share this picture of myself just cause. haha

i really can't say this enough

but i really do have the best parents in the world. they have always been so supportive of me and all the decisions i make. like for example, moving out. i know it's gonna be hard for my parents to see me go, just as much as it's going for me to leave them. i like mentioned earlier, i've never been away from them for more than 3 days. the good thing is that i'm not moving too far away. just a few cities over. i know i've wanted this for so long, but as i'm counting the days towards our official move in day, i start to feel kind of lonely. i know i'm going to have kim there and all, but i'm sure we'll rarely see each other because of our busy schedule's. she's got her job and her own thing going on. and i've got school and work. don't get me wrong, i'm still really excited about it, i'm just going to have to adjust.

so it's finally happening!

i'm moving out this week! ahhhh. i'm kinda sad that i'm leaving home. i'm gonna miss living here so much. this really is such a big step for me. i've never been away from home for more than 3 days. just thinking about it is really making me sad. i was excited at first but now it just feels lonely :(

hmm

so it turns out, i don't know how to be in a healthy relationship. the last 2 relationships i've had ended disastrously. i think the problem is that the guys i'm dating are younger than i am. they don't know how to handle someone with my kind of personality. i'm not affectionate or sweet. i'm not your typical gf. i'll rarely ever call you, i'm not big on flowers, and i'm not very romantic or mushy. i think the biggest problem i had with the latter boyfriend is that he claimed i was emotionally abusive. in my mind that's absolutely ridiculous. was i sometimes mean yes, but a majority of the time he provoked it. let's use this as an example. ugh i'll just end it here.

i should be doing stats hw

but i can't concentrate.

ughhh

:(

I FINALLY DID IT!

kim and i signed the lease last night to our new apartment! soo exciting! i really can't wait to start moving our stuff in! ahhhhh!!! i feel so grown up! it's really going to be amazing. that's all i'm gonna say for now :)

i think i'm starting to slowly realize how needy i really am...

so i've decided

that just for the hell of it, i'm going to dress up everywhere i go. i have SO MUCH clothes and i really only wear a fraction of them. but the problem is, i don't have anywhere to wear them to cause i never go out anymore. so i'm just gonna wear them anywhere i go lol even if it's the damn grocery store. haha i can't wait to move out with kim! i'm mostly excited for the closet space! haha it's gonna be so much fun.